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It starts with the dream

Blogging, Business, Coaching, Content Creation, Goal Setting, Mindset, Podcast, Self Development, Social Media Marketing, Youtube
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December 18, 2024

Are You Being Silent or Are You Being Silenced?

Finding Your Voice: Unpacking the Stories That Keep Us Silent

Hi, I’m Chisomo from It Starts With A Dream, and in today’s episode, I’m diving into a question that’s been on my mind for a long time: Are you being silent, or are you being silenced? This idea was sparked by something I heard during the Oprah and Meghan Markle interview, and it’s stuck with me ever since.

In this episode, I’m sharing my own experiences of self-silencing and being silenced by others. From my childhood in Zambia to moving to England and Wales, I unpack the moments that shaped my voice—or took it away. I also talk about my journey of healing through faith and how I’ve started breaking free from patterns of hiding and holding back.

What We’ll Explore Together:

  • The Roots of Silence – How childhood experiences, cultural shifts, and even racism shaped the way I shared (or didn’t share) my voice.
  • Self-Silencing vs. Being Silenced – Recognising the fears and societal pressures that stop us from showing up as ourselves.
  • Healing Through Reflection – The faith-based process that helped me release shame, fear, and the feeling that it’s “wrong” to be me.
  • Owning Your Story – How embracing your quirks, passions, and gifts creates space for others to feel seen and heard.

Questions I Want You to Reflect On:

  • Are you staying silent by choice, or is something or someone silencing you?
  • What past experiences have shaped the way you share your voice today?
  • What parts of your story or passions are you holding back, and how could sharing them connect you with others?

  • What I Hope You’ll Take Away:

    • The things you feel silenced about might be the exact message someone else needs to hear.
    • Sharing your unique story and perspective creates a ripple effect—it can empower others and build an authentic, like-minded community.
    • Even the quirks or “weird” interests you’re hesitant to share are part of what makes you, you.

Let’s Connect:
I’d love to hear your thoughts after this episode! What are you holding back from sharing? Are you ready to step into your voice? Send me a message or comment wherever you’re listening.

https://www.instagram.com/itstartswiththedream/

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone you know or leave a review.

Want to work together? Book a coaching discovery call here or check out my courses here.

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Have you been silent or silenced? by Chisomo Fajardo

What is keeping you from showing up as the unique you?

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2025 Year of expansion

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Why I'm creating my new live 4 week program "Brand New Era" for faith based/spiritually open women who know God has put a message or gift in their heart to share with the world. I share about delving into my faith in a new way after losing my father, exploring ancient traditions that we've lost in the modern church. Processing traumatic and painful situations with God that had still held me in bondage and stopping me from stepping into my calling and being all that he created me to be. 4 Things we cover together in the program. Foundations of belief and identity so we know who we are and why we matter. Clarity on what is the message we have to put out into the world Who is the message for and why does it matter that we share it. What's been keeping us stuck and captive from being the fully expressed person God made us. Uncover, release and heal (with God) Then putting it all together and starting to share the message and express ourselves! DM me if you're interested and while it is faith based all are welcome, we will have prayers and Bible scripture as part of it, but if you sense yourself called to the program you're welcome. https://itstartswiththedream.com/brand-new-era/
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Why I'm creating my new live 4 week program "Brand New Era" for faith based/spiritually open women who know God has put a message or gift in their heart to share with the world. I share about delving into my faith in a new way after losing my father, exploring ancient traditions that we've lost in the modern church. Processing traumatic and painful situations with God that had still held me in bondage and stopping me from stepping into my calling and being all that he created me to be. 4 Things we cover together in the program. Foundations of belief and identity so we know who we are and why we matter. Clarity on what is the message we have to put out into the world Who is the message for and why does it matter that we share it. What's been keeping us stuck and captive from being the fully expressed person God made us. Uncover, release and heal (with God) Then putting it all together and starting to share the message and express ourselves! DM me if you're interested and while it is faith based all are welcome, we will have prayers and Bible scripture as part of it, but if you sense yourself called to the program you're welcome. https://itstartswiththedream.com/brand-new-era/
1 day ago
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1/8
If you're like me and my hubby you've forgotten to get cards and even forgot it was the day 😅 We've never been that great with Valentine day. We do love each other dearly and our anniversary tends to be the big one for us. Enjoy your day whether you an all out type or more laid back abut the day like us!
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If you're like me and my hubby you've forgotten to get cards and even forgot it was the day 😅 We've never been that great with Valentine day. We do love each other dearly and our anniversary tends to be the big one for us. Enjoy your day whether you an all out type or more laid back abut the day like us!
1 week ago
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2/8
Where do you need to make space in your life so you can expand into your next level? My word for this year is Expansion! And to expand requires more space, more capacity. We may need to let go of old things so we can pick up the new. Old ways of thinking that don't serve us where we are going. Clothes/items that don't represent who we are and are becoming and the goals we have. Sometimes these items remind us of the past and who we thought we would be. Perhaps you went to Uni and aren't using your degree, could you sell or donate your books or kit that has you feel like a failure every time you look at it? Maybe those clothes were part of your old career, or maybe a way for you to hide in dull colours and baggy shapes and the woman you are is colourful, creative and confident! I've been sorting my dressing table, decluttering the bathroom, today I'll do the bedroom I work in and some kitchen drawers and cupboards over the weekend. Want to watch the whole faith based episode head to bit.ly/2025expansion . . . #mindsetwork #RTT #sozo #createanewlife #2025vision #2025goals #lifeplanning #lifevision #lifegoala #lifegoalschecked #lifegoals✔️ #kingdombusiness #goaldigger #femaleentrepreneurs #femalefounders #designyourdream #designyourdreamlife
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Where do you need to make space in your life so you can expand into your next level? My word for this year is Expansion! And to expand requires more space, more capacity. We may need to let go of old things so we can pick up the new. Old ways of thinking that don't serve us where we are going. Clothes/items that don't represent who we are and are becoming and the goals we have. Sometimes these items remind us of the past and who we thought we would be. Perhaps you went to Uni and aren't using your degree, could you sell or donate your books or kit that has you feel like a failure every time you look at it? Maybe those clothes were part of your old career, or maybe a way for you to hide in dull colours and baggy shapes and the woman you are is colourful, creative and confident! I've been sorting my dressing table, decluttering the bathroom, today I'll do the bedroom I work in and some kitchen drawers and cupboards over the weekend. Want to watch the whole faith based episode head to bit.ly/2025expansion . . . #mindsetwork #RTT #sozo #createanewlife #2025vision #2025goals #lifeplanning #lifevision #lifegoala #lifegoalschecked #lifegoals✔️ #kingdombusiness #goaldigger #femaleentrepreneurs #femalefounders #designyourdream #designyourdreamlife
3 weeks ago
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3/8
✨ Slowing Down to Speed Up: A Lesson I Couldn’t Ignore ✨ Have you ever had a phrase or idea pop up over and over, almost like a divine nudge? That’s exactly what happened to me with slowing down to speed up. I kept seeing it in coaching programs, emails, and even a devotional—so I knew it was something I needed to lean into. Lately, I’ve been slowing down by journaling, processing emotions, and paying attention to how my body responds to triggers. Instead of pushing forward without reflection, I’m learning that true growth comes when we pause, breathe, and listen. Want to hear more? Watch the video and see my step by step process over the on the block: https://bit.ly/slowdown2speed 📌 Save this post for later & tap to watch! . . . #slowingdown #nervoussystemregulation #nervoussystem #automaticthoughts #mindset #journaling #journalyourthoughts #reframeyourthoughts #unconconciousmind #rewriteyourstory #RTT #sozo
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✨ Slowing Down to Speed Up: A Lesson I Couldn’t Ignore ✨ Have you ever had a phrase or idea pop up over and over, almost like a divine nudge? That’s exactly what happened to me with slowing down to speed up. I kept seeing it in coaching programs, emails, and even a devotional—so I knew it was something I needed to lean into. Lately, I’ve been slowing down by journaling, processing emotions, and paying attention to how my body responds to triggers. Instead of pushing forward without reflection, I’m learning that true growth comes when we pause, breathe, and listen. Want to hear more? Watch the video and see my step by step process over the on the block: https://bit.ly/slowdown2speed 📌 Save this post for later & tap to watch! . . . #slowingdown #nervoussystemregulation #nervoussystem #automaticthoughts #mindset #journaling #journalyourthoughts #reframeyourthoughts #unconconciousmind #rewriteyourstory #RTT #sozo
3 weeks ago
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4/8
Garden renovation 2024! This was my biggest person goal achieved last year after getting my Life coaching diploma with @optimuscoachacademy. We got a quote over £10,000 to do the work and it wasn't feasible for us. So we did it ourselves for about £2-3k including furniture (FB market) and plants. I did a lot of the digging work during the working week and it really was a push outside what felt comfortable physically. I did spend my evenings recovering but I knew it wasn't forever and tried to as much as I felt I could. Weekends my husband would do more technical or heavy things and the kids sometimes got involved. We created a more level upper layer with fake grass for football, the sunken decking so we have a flat surface to put furniture in the only spot that gets sunlight after 11am, a lawner area with plants on the borders and the upper patio with fake grass as it was always waterlogged and the little terrace with a breakfast spot and veggie planters. I know a professional would have done a million times better job and there are lots of things I still want to improve/change but it's a huge upgrade for us and what the garden was before. It pretty much was a new build mud patch after 18 months. The kids wouldn't play outside as it was mud. There wasn't anywhere flat to put the furniture that had sunshine. So I'm really pleased with what we have achieved ourselves on a budget. Things I've learned is gardening is hard and plants die 😭 they need a lot of care in the summer when it's hot too. Especially veggies and I had to get my mum to water them about 3/4 times when we went on holiday to Greece. I didn't even attempt to put words onto my reel as my IG is so glitchy for reels I'm surprised it managed to even put the images and video together.
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Garden renovation 2024! This was my biggest person goal achieved last year after getting my Life coaching diploma with @optimuscoachacademy. We got a quote over £10,000 to do the work and it wasn't feasible for us. So we did it ourselves for about £2-3k including furniture (FB market) and plants. I did a lot of the digging work during the working week and it really was a push outside what felt comfortable physically. I did spend my evenings recovering but I knew it wasn't forever and tried to as much as I felt I could. Weekends my husband would do more technical or heavy things and the kids sometimes got involved. We created a more level upper layer with fake grass for football, the sunken decking so we have a flat surface to put furniture in the only spot that gets sunlight after 11am, a lawner area with plants on the borders and the upper patio with fake grass as it was always waterlogged and the little terrace with a breakfast spot and veggie planters. I know a professional would have done a million times better job and there are lots of things I still want to improve/change but it's a huge upgrade for us and what the garden was before. It pretty much was a new build mud patch after 18 months. The kids wouldn't play outside as it was mud. There wasn't anywhere flat to put the furniture that had sunshine. So I'm really pleased with what we have achieved ourselves on a budget. Things I've learned is gardening is hard and plants die 😭 they need a lot of care in the summer when it's hot too. Especially veggies and I had to get my mum to water them about 3/4 times when we went on holiday to Greece. I didn't even attempt to put words onto my reel as my IG is so glitchy for reels I'm surprised it managed to even put the images and video together.
1 month ago
View on Instagram |
5/8
When things aren't working on the outside, go inside. It's easy to look at the problem and how it's showing up and try to wallpaper over the crack. We can end up with a wallpapered wall full of cracks when we need to fix the actual crack and what's causing the wall to crack in the first place. Is the house damp? Is it too dry? Were the right materials used? What this can look like in our lives is digging deeper to find the root of our behaviours and starting to address those. Usually it takes us back to a story we created in childhood to protect us in a painful or upsetting situation. We create meanings about what we experience then live our whole lives out of those meanings and stories. So we effectively live a life that is not really based on reality but based on our perception of it. It takes slowing down, checking in to uncover some of these deeply seated beliefs (stories) and then to choose to release them as they no longer serve us. These stories will run our lives if we let them and when you're trying to create a dream life (an intentional life) they will sabotage or block us. This is why Mindset is such a big part of what I do whether in my coaching or in my course Design Your Dreams. Want support to work on your mindset as you take action to your dreams? Book a free discovery call bit.ly/chatdreams . . . #goalsetting #dreambig #dreamingwithGod #selfsabotage #earlychildhoodtrauma #womenempoweringwomen #lifecoachingforwomen #femalefounders #startyourbusiness #shareyourgift #shareyourstory
itstartswiththedream
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When things aren't working on the outside, go inside. It's easy to look at the problem and how it's showing up and try to wallpaper over the crack. We can end up with a wallpapered wall full of cracks when we need to fix the actual crack and what's causing the wall to crack in the first place. Is the house damp? Is it too dry? Were the right materials used? What this can look like in our lives is digging deeper to find the root of our behaviours and starting to address those. Usually it takes us back to a story we created in childhood to protect us in a painful or upsetting situation. We create meanings about what we experience then live our whole lives out of those meanings and stories. So we effectively live a life that is not really based on reality but based on our perception of it. It takes slowing down, checking in to uncover some of these deeply seated beliefs (stories) and then to choose to release them as they no longer serve us. These stories will run our lives if we let them and when you're trying to create a dream life (an intentional life) they will sabotage or block us. This is why Mindset is such a big part of what I do whether in my coaching or in my course Design Your Dreams. Want support to work on your mindset as you take action to your dreams? Book a free discovery call bit.ly/chatdreams . . . #goalsetting #dreambig #dreamingwithGod #selfsabotage #earlychildhoodtrauma #womenempoweringwomen #lifecoachingforwomen #femalefounders #startyourbusiness #shareyourgift #shareyourstory
1 month ago
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6/8
2025 Year of expansion! My word of the year is expansion. In this faith based episode I share my journey last year and how it led to picking my word of the year expansion. Whatever your beliefs I believe that Expansion should be a theme for our lives. Expansion to me really represents growth. It represents developing, taking up space, sharing more of us, expanding out with our message, purpose, gifts and story! If you want a video just about picking your word then visit: bit.ly/wordyr1 If you're on my email list in the VIP Library you'll find some printables to work through too. You can sign up here: https://itstartswiththedream.com/freebies If you want to know more about my faith journey and what I feel Gods been teaching me watch the whole video: bit.ly/2025expansion . . . #wordoftheyear #themeoftheyear #guidingword #newyearresolutions #expansion #dreambigger #bigfaith #bigGod #goalsetting #2025vision #visionfortheyear #faithbuilt #kingdombusiness #kindgommindset
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2025 Year of expansion! My word of the year is expansion. In this faith based episode I share my journey last year and how it led to picking my word of the year expansion. Whatever your beliefs I believe that Expansion should be a theme for our lives. Expansion to me really represents growth. It represents developing, taking up space, sharing more of us, expanding out with our message, purpose, gifts and story! If you want a video just about picking your word then visit: bit.ly/wordyr1 If you're on my email list in the VIP Library you'll find some printables to work through too. You can sign up here: https://itstartswiththedream.com/freebies If you want to know more about my faith journey and what I feel Gods been teaching me watch the whole video: bit.ly/2025expansion . . . #wordoftheyear #themeoftheyear #guidingword #newyearresolutions #expansion #dreambigger #bigfaith #bigGod #goalsetting #2025vision #visionfortheyear #faithbuilt #kingdombusiness #kindgommindset
1 month ago
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7/8
Content creation made easy. What's the message you have to share? What are the things you're thinking about? What's swirling around that wonderful brain of yours? Share it. Let it be as simple as that. Record face to camera and share it like you're talking to your ideal client or friend and know you can help them. Or write it down, get a substack or a blog and share it in written form then make a post on IG. Don't want your face? Then find some images that you like on Canva and make a carousel with the words overlaid. Even simpler? Write it in a notebook app and screenshot your slides. It does get to be that simple. Imagine sharing content easily this way? What sort of bank of assets could you have in 6 months time? Let it be that simple ✨ If you've got a message or a gift you feel you should be sharing I've got an idea that I'd like to try out. DM me and let me know if you want to be a beta tester. . . . #contentcreation #sharethemessage #youarethemessage #shareyourvoice #beyou #womenempoweringwomen #womenhelpingwomen #starryourbusiness #lifecoachforwomen #womeninbusiness #femalefounders
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Content creation made easy. What's the message you have to share? What are the things you're thinking about? What's swirling around that wonderful brain of yours? Share it. Let it be as simple as that. Record face to camera and share it like you're talking to your ideal client or friend and know you can help them. Or write it down, get a substack or a blog and share it in written form then make a post on IG. Don't want your face? Then find some images that you like on Canva and make a carousel with the words overlaid. Even simpler? Write it in a notebook app and screenshot your slides. It does get to be that simple. Imagine sharing content easily this way? What sort of bank of assets could you have in 6 months time? Let it be that simple ✨ If you've got a message or a gift you feel you should be sharing I've got an idea that I'd like to try out. DM me and let me know if you want to be a beta tester. . . . #contentcreation #sharethemessage #youarethemessage #shareyourvoice #beyou #womenempoweringwomen #womenhelpingwomen #starryourbusiness #lifecoachforwomen #womeninbusiness #femalefounders
1 month ago
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8/8
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