5 Reasons You’re Refusing Support and How It’s Holding You Back from Achieving Your Goals
These last few years I’ve really been digging into lifestyle design which is basically designing your life intentionally around what matters to you.
As I’ve been on thie journey of designing mine and creating products and courses that support women in doing the same, I’ve been curious about why we don’t always get support.
In my one business and life I’ve offered free mentoring and coaching when I’ve seen a need and finances may have been an issue. The interesting thing is most said no.
As a person who now places a high value on support in my home life as well as my business I’ve found it interesting when I’ve seen folks who have a goal or dream but struggling to get there say no to free or paid support.
Early in my journey I didn’t see the value and thought I could figure it all out myself, when I look back to my mindset then I can see a few reasons why we don’t invest in paid mentoring/coaching or take on free support.
Here’s a few reasons why and what it could highlight about your limiting beliefs or blocks that could be stopping you from taking action and making progress with your goals.
No.1 You’re in victim mode
You may feel powerless, as if things happen to you rather than for you. In this state of mind, you often think that no matter what you do, it won’t change the outcome.
Accepting help challenges this mindset because it requires you to take responsibility for where you are and take action toward where you want to be.
When you say no to support it means you can stay (comfortable) where you are and be justified in complaining about how nothing is working out.
Getting support does mean we may now have someone call us on our excuses and hold us to a higher standard.
Some of us have been through really tough experiences, but if we hold on to them with feelings of unforgiveness or resentment, it can make it harder to embrace the new opportunities that come our way. To forgive and let go does NOT excuse those who hurt you but it frees you from holding on to it.
We can’t change what happened to us but we can choose what we want for our future.
If this is you, try this journal prompt:
“What do I get by staying the same?” “How does it serve me to stay in victimhood?”
No.2 You don’t want to change
Sometimes, we resist change because staying where we are feels safe, even if it’s uncomfortable. Taking support often means confronting uncomfortable truths, letting go of habits, or stepping into new responsibilities, and that can be terrifying.
If this is you, try this journal prompt:
“What will my life look like in 5 years time If I don’t take action?”
No.3 You aren’t ready to be accountable
Support, especially in the form of mentoring or coaching, often comes with an element of accountability. If you’re not ready to be held accountable for your actions (or inaction), it’s easier to reject help than to face the pressure of having to follow through.
If this is you, try this journal prompt:
What’s the worst thing that can happen with having someone know my goals and me potentially not achieving them? Am I willing to let this stop me?
No.4 You feel self-conscious
Accepting help can make you feel vulnerable. You may worry about what others will think or that accepting support will make you appear weak or incapable. Perhaps some of the things you struggle with make you feel embarrassed, like you should have it together already. But the truth is, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
If this is you, try this journal prompt:
“What do I fear will happen by being honest about where I’m at and what’s keeping me stuck?”
No.5 You think you’re ‘independent’
The idea of being ‘independent’ and figuring everything out on your own is often romanticised. But the reality is, no one achieves success in isolation. It’s not a weakness to need others; it’s a strength to know when to seek support.
If this is you, try this journal prompt:
Reflect on your beliefs about independence. In what ways does being independent make you feel strong? Consider a time when this belief held you back from asking for help. List three ways you can embrace support while still honouring your independence.
Here’s an extra bonus reason
You’re Not Serious About Your Goal
Sometimes, we refuse help because we haven’t fully committed to our goal. It may feel more like a “nice to have” or a distant dream, rather than something we’re actively working towards.
When we haven’t made our goal a non-negotiable priority, seeking support can seem unnecessary. But without that serious commitment, it’s easy to stay stuck in the “one day” mindset instead of taking the actions needed to turn the dream into reality.
These are just a few of the mindsets that might be holding you back from receiving the support you need.
Understanding them can be the first step toward breaking free of these patterns and moving forward in your life and goals.
IMAGINE LIVING THE LIFE OF YOUR DREAMS!
A LIFE CREATED INTENTIONALLY, WHERE YOU SHARE YOUR PASSIONS, GOD GIVEN GIFTS, YOUR SKILLS AND YOUR STORY WHILE LIVING IN ALIGNMENT WITH YOUR HIGHEST VALUES AND PRIORITIES.
“Design your dreams” will help you craft a vision for your life, create actionable plans to turn that dreaminto a reality.
It’s time to decide on what you want and start making it happen.
Wear the clothes you want now, create a beautiful and inspiring space now, start a fulfilling side hustle now
Create your compelling vision for your life that sees you excited to get up in the morning!